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Understanding The Secret Language Of Women


Women have their own secret language, and yet they expect men to understand it. Pay attention guys. It is not what she says, but what she does that is the key to breaking this code. They are more subtle in their responses, instead of direct, like men are. For example, if you ask a woman something, and she responds with: I’ll think about it. It means no. Chances are, she may have put on a bland face to go with that remark, but if you are watching closely, you can catch the clues in her face.

If you ask a woman you just met for her phone number and she says: Well, I don’t give it out, but why don’t you give me one of your business cards? It means: I’m not interested. As I mentioned before, we have trained women not to reject us to our face, so they have had to develop more subtle ways of getting around to saying: No.

It is about understanding what all the cues mean. When a woman says: You never listen to me. Or: You never do this for me or that for me. In that moment, it is simply what she’s feeling. It doesn’t mean that you have never, ever done this or that for her. All it means is in that present moment, you are failing as a man to give her the presence that she is looking for from you.

That is why women tend to generalize a lot when they are saying things. They will say: I can’t stand you, or: You’re such a jerk, or she gets really mad and says she hates you. It doesn’t mean that she does not love you any more, but right then and there, in that moment, she is feeling that she hates your guts, because you failed, and she’s simply expressing that to you. Again, don’t take it personally.

She may be completely shut down to you. By your presence and communicating with her, you are going to work to open her back up. Once she is back open, she will usually apologize for what she said, with something like: I was just really emotional. Or she may be all over you and say: I love you! That is just her being a woman. It is part of the weathering of the storm.

Understanding the secret language is all about understanding what her responses mean. Guys think logically, and women think emotionally. Most of the time, women giving advice on other women are not going to come out and say: Well, she doesn’t like you. They do not want to come right out and tell you the things that hurt your feelings.

The more pauses a woman uses during speaking is an indication that she is thinking hard about how to try and word something. Listen carefully to her wording at this point. She is trying very hard not to be impolite or rude, but the actual words and where she places inflections on those words will tell you exactly what she is trying to say.

For example, you go up to a woman and say: Is anyone sitting here? Compare these statements: No, it’s open. Or she hesitates, shrugs, looks down or away and says: ...No...It’s open. The first one says that the seat is open and you are welcome to sit next to her. The second one says: If you really have to. The seat is open, but I’d rather you left it that way.

With a guy, language is like simplistic, straightforward dog commands: Sit, stay, lie down, and roll over. With a woman, it is like the cat analogy. You have to read her actions. You always judge a woman by what she does, not what she says. If she breaks a date and then tells you that she can’t wait to see you again in the same sentence, the bottom line is that she still broke the date. That tells me that she has a very low attraction, and she doesn’t really care to see me. When she says: But I can’t wait to see you again, it is her way of trying to make you feel good, and not be upset or mad at her for breaking the date.
She hopes you will just figure it out. Women will understand what that response means. Most guys don’t understand what that response means.

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